40

Really, it's just a number... a large number. Twice the size of 20, yet only half of 80. Supposedly it once rained for 40 days and 40 nights. It's not as magical a number as "3". 40 minutes is a good time for a 10k. 40 minutes is the clock time for NCAA Basketball games.

40 is now my age. Fortunately, it is also NOT my waist size. If it was my inseam, then I'd be an NBA superstar... or at least sitting on the bench making millions.

My wonderful wife started off the weekend by taking me to Nordies for some shopping (personal shoppers rock!). She spoiled me there and spent a LOT on new clothes for me. I took off (kicked out???) early Saturday morning for Mt. Hood Meadows with some friends. A whole day of snowboarding on some great powder. I come home to find the front of the house decorated with balloons, a giant 40, and some streamers. The inside has been decorated, cleaned, food set up, lots of beer and wine. She'd spent the whole day getting the house ready for this surprise. No one has ever done anything remotely like this for me before. My mom was already there, my best friend Greg would soon arrive. Stinky Court, people that I am close to at work, my neighbors (the good ones), and the beer man. It was the right people, the perfect setting, and it was all done by Buff.

She's exhausted this morning, and has certainly earned some rest time. She didn't have to do all of that for me, but I am so very, very grateful for what she did. I feel special and am very grateful to have her in my life.

Buffy, I can't thank you enough for the wonderful, wonderful birthday!!!

Changes in attitude...

It's winter in Oregon. Know how I can tell? Mt. Hood turns all white and the temptations of fresh powder overwhelm the urge to be a productive citizen and work. I gave into said temptations last Thursday and was rewarded with some great powder and a chance to clear my head of the latest drama.

For anyone that reads this, you'll note a change in the title of my blog. It's no longer the Road to Boston 2008, but now more of the Quest for Boston. I will BQ someday. It may be this year, or next, or some other year. Obsessing about it won't get me there any faster. I could run Valentine's (VM) and probably qualify, but the way I feel today is that the training to get there will interfere with the need to be in the snow. I passed on a great season last year because I felt I couldn't miss my long ride or long run on the weekend. Life is too short. Besides, VM doesn't excite me much. Eugene Marathon, however, does. It's where I became a runner. The route is one I could do with my eyes closed.

Back to the drama...

I have this not so unusual birth defect called a father. Everyone has one. Some of us have 2. Many have one that was never a part of their life. I had one that was great to me and was always a part of my life. When he passed away, it was hard on me even though he was my step-father. But on my birth certificate, he was my legal father. In many ways, he treated me better than his own, but not because he wanted it to be that way. His gravestone, and the way that I will always remember him says "Loving Father".

Enter the "sperm donor"... (thanks Nicole for the title!)

I have some memories of spending time with him as a child... 35 years ago. They were good. Since then I can say that we have not spoken 35 times. He's called on my birthday maybe a half dozen or so times. Basically, he's not a part of my life. Ever. And I would like to keep it that way.

Last week I got a call from his ex (#2) that he was in the hospital, possibly with cancer. Something that I should know at least... hey, guess what, there's a history of this shit in my family... great... They were supposed to call back, and I guess I could call, but I have principles. If you say you will call, then call... otherwise don't make yet another promise that you can't keep. I feel bad for my half brothers. They are close to him. However, even though I have tried in the past to be a part of that family, I am not.

My father, the man who raised me, the man who I respect greatly passed away in 2005 the day after fathers day. I wish this other person the best of health, but unless you actively involve me in your life, I'd rather stay out of it. LIfe's too short for your BS. I'm going boarding.

Gobble, Gobble...

Beth had her second surgery on her sinus last week. All seems to be going well. We need to not be so competitive... now we're even with the surgeries, although hers was a bit more invasive since it involved drilling and scraping in her head.

Took some time off from work and actually didn't do any work at home! It was a first, and it was much needed. Hopefully I'll get my groove on next week and get caught up on some things.

I'm ready for the snow to come. I'm not running at CIM, so I'm slowly going to rebuild things and shoot for Valentine's Marathon. I can use some snowboarding right about now...

(Re)Building confidence

Recovering from a bad race sucks. First you have the physical healing. Some things heal quickly, others take time. Some you can run through, others you physically cannot. Even once you get through the physical aspects, there's the mental part...

Until this last week, my recovery from Portland has been slow and tough. I'm still working through everything, but until just recently, I was some damaged goods (mentally). No confidence, wallowing in defeat. The cure is running and getting back to form, but when the body doesn't allow that, the mental side festers.

The good new is that I'm back in action. Two tempo runs over 6 miles @ just over 7 min pace. One long 16.5 miler (first half and second half splits were within 30 seconds). The speed isn't quite there yet, but I'm not certain that will be an issue. I logged over 40 miles this week, most of it was very positive.

To CIM or not to CIM. That is the question. I believe if I can get over the mental issues, I can break through on the physical side. I'm 90% there... but in marathoning, the last 10% is all guts and I still have just a small glimmer of doubt. Can I gut out the last 10k if I run the first 20 smartly? If I run it like I did today over 16.5, then the answer is yes.

So good! So Good!

Game over, series over, and the Red Sox are champions again. It was said so matter of factly, as if it was expected by everyone.

They led it all from mid-April until the fat lady warmed up. The Rockies towels and pathetic chants were no match. I've heard many broadcasters state throughout the season that Sox fans cheer every pitch. We do. We believe... again. In my lifetime, they have now won it all twice. Since Buff and I got married 3 years ago, they have won it twice. After three long years of waiting, a championship has returned to Boston.

Winning isn't everything, but it sure does feel nice! The best part of all of this is getting to watch a lifelong Yankee fan have to wear a Red Sox World Series Championship shirt in the office for a day.

Sweet Caroline!

World Series

Some people waited a lifetime for the Sox to win a series. After tonight, they are on the brink of doing it twice in my lifetime. Simply amazing...

Since mid-April, they led the AL East division. From leading the Yankees by 14 1/2 games down to 1 1/2 games... to clinching the East. Sweeping the Angels, coming back from 3-1 to beat the hapless Indians. Now the Rox, who were 21 for their last 22 games heading into the Series, have lost 2 straight. One major blowout, one close one dealt by the cunning Schill and upstart Oki-doki and "Twinkle Toes" Paps.

Onto Coors Stadium. Bring it! We know Beckett will take the mound in Game 5 if the Rox manage to win one, that's money. It would be so sweet to be able to win it in front of the Boston fans at Fenway, but we'll take the win at Coors if we have to...

I love this Nation!

I'm not dead...

CART MASTER:

'Ere. He says he's not dead!

CUSTOMER:

Yes, he is.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm not!

CART MASTER:

He isn't?

CUSTOMER:

Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm getting better!

CUSTOMER:

No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

CART MASTER:

Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

DEAD PERSON:

I don't want to go on the cart!

CUSTOMER:

Oh, don't be such a baby.

Officially, I finished the Portland Marathon. In my mind, I left it all up on Willamette. I'm not dead yet, and I'm not done with what I started. I set out this year to qualify and run the Boston Marathon this April. The prescription that I was given yesterday, "you need to run CIM." By next weekend, I will commit to this one way or another. That's how long I am giving my legs to decide what they want to do.

The California International Marathon is a "net negative" course. In layman's terms, it's a slightly downhill course for 26.2 miles. Certified with the largest % of Boston qualifiers.

DEAD PERSON:

I think I'll go for a walk.

CUSTOMER:

You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?

DEAD PERSON: [singing]

I feel happy. I feel happy.

This time, I'm doing it my way...