Gobble, Gobble...

Beth had her second surgery on her sinus last week. All seems to be going well. We need to not be so competitive... now we're even with the surgeries, although hers was a bit more invasive since it involved drilling and scraping in her head.

Took some time off from work and actually didn't do any work at home! It was a first, and it was much needed. Hopefully I'll get my groove on next week and get caught up on some things.

I'm ready for the snow to come. I'm not running at CIM, so I'm slowly going to rebuild things and shoot for Valentine's Marathon. I can use some snowboarding right about now...

(Re)Building confidence

Recovering from a bad race sucks. First you have the physical healing. Some things heal quickly, others take time. Some you can run through, others you physically cannot. Even once you get through the physical aspects, there's the mental part...

Until this last week, my recovery from Portland has been slow and tough. I'm still working through everything, but until just recently, I was some damaged goods (mentally). No confidence, wallowing in defeat. The cure is running and getting back to form, but when the body doesn't allow that, the mental side festers.

The good new is that I'm back in action. Two tempo runs over 6 miles @ just over 7 min pace. One long 16.5 miler (first half and second half splits were within 30 seconds). The speed isn't quite there yet, but I'm not certain that will be an issue. I logged over 40 miles this week, most of it was very positive.

To CIM or not to CIM. That is the question. I believe if I can get over the mental issues, I can break through on the physical side. I'm 90% there... but in marathoning, the last 10% is all guts and I still have just a small glimmer of doubt. Can I gut out the last 10k if I run the first 20 smartly? If I run it like I did today over 16.5, then the answer is yes.

So good! So Good!

Game over, series over, and the Red Sox are champions again. It was said so matter of factly, as if it was expected by everyone.

They led it all from mid-April until the fat lady warmed up. The Rockies towels and pathetic chants were no match. I've heard many broadcasters state throughout the season that Sox fans cheer every pitch. We do. We believe... again. In my lifetime, they have now won it all twice. Since Buff and I got married 3 years ago, they have won it twice. After three long years of waiting, a championship has returned to Boston.

Winning isn't everything, but it sure does feel nice! The best part of all of this is getting to watch a lifelong Yankee fan have to wear a Red Sox World Series Championship shirt in the office for a day.

Sweet Caroline!

World Series

Some people waited a lifetime for the Sox to win a series. After tonight, they are on the brink of doing it twice in my lifetime. Simply amazing...

Since mid-April, they led the AL East division. From leading the Yankees by 14 1/2 games down to 1 1/2 games... to clinching the East. Sweeping the Angels, coming back from 3-1 to beat the hapless Indians. Now the Rox, who were 21 for their last 22 games heading into the Series, have lost 2 straight. One major blowout, one close one dealt by the cunning Schill and upstart Oki-doki and "Twinkle Toes" Paps.

Onto Coors Stadium. Bring it! We know Beckett will take the mound in Game 5 if the Rox manage to win one, that's money. It would be so sweet to be able to win it in front of the Boston fans at Fenway, but we'll take the win at Coors if we have to...

I love this Nation!

I'm not dead...

CART MASTER:

'Ere. He says he's not dead!

CUSTOMER:

Yes, he is.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm not!

CART MASTER:

He isn't?

CUSTOMER:

Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm getting better!

CUSTOMER:

No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

CART MASTER:

Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

DEAD PERSON:

I don't want to go on the cart!

CUSTOMER:

Oh, don't be such a baby.

Officially, I finished the Portland Marathon. In my mind, I left it all up on Willamette. I'm not dead yet, and I'm not done with what I started. I set out this year to qualify and run the Boston Marathon this April. The prescription that I was given yesterday, "you need to run CIM." By next weekend, I will commit to this one way or another. That's how long I am giving my legs to decide what they want to do.

The California International Marathon is a "net negative" course. In layman's terms, it's a slightly downhill course for 26.2 miles. Certified with the largest % of Boston qualifiers.

DEAD PERSON:

I think I'll go for a walk.

CUSTOMER:

You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?

DEAD PERSON: [singing]

I feel happy. I feel happy.

This time, I'm doing it my way...

Breakdown...

Today I ran and finished my first marathon. I should be more happy with this, but I'm numb with the disappointment from months or preparation. I did not qualify for Boston, not even close...

Through the half, I was right where I wanted to be, 1:31:00, on pace for just over 3 hours and well within Boston qualifying time. Heading up the St. John's Bridge, I had some minor issues, but worked past them and was still right on pace (although cutting it close, thought I could make back some time on Greeley). Then it happened...

After all this preparation, it never once crossed my mind that I'd have cramps, bad ones. My legs shut down. When I did my 21 mile training run 3 weeks ago, it was perfect. I was ready. Today, everything felt great at the start. At mile 20, nothing was right. I thought I could walk it out, get more water in me and stretch or something... nope. I fought my legs for the last 6 miles. I had to finish, I owed myself at least that much.

The last 1/2 mile I gutted it out. I started back up again and was not going to stop. It hurt more than anything I've ever done. I had to finish strong, at that point it was about pride... something that was kicked in the gutter repeatedly today.

I had one bad race all season. One... the one that mattered most to me. I'm sure I'll get perspective at some point, but I am competitive. I like to be at the top of my game... it just wasn't going to be today.

I should have known when the cap on my gel flask came off (and let the gel run down my legs... I looked like I shit myself... nice) that something bad was around the corner...

At least the Red Sox are 2 innings away from winning (and sweeping) their ALDS match up.

The Final Countdown...

This is it. 9 months of getting back into running. 14 weeks of marathon specific training. Track workouts, tempo runs, 21 mile LSD, intervals, countless massages, nutrition habits. Everything down to picking the right socks and shoes. It's all in preparation for this Sunday.

In a matter of days, I'll join the masses and become a marathoner. While many train just to say they did it, this is deeper. This is about being a runner. There is no doubt that running is the one thing that I've always been good at.

As a teen in HS, I had a dream of one day going to the Olympics. I chose the path of a military life and that was the end of that dream (although, I was at the 88 Olympics in Seoul, but only as a spectator). Portland is my Olympic Trials. Boston will be my Olympics.

I went back to Eugene once and ran through the UO and up to Pre's rock. Finishing on the Tom and Bill McChesney Memorial Track (SEHS) was inspiring to me. It was where I once stood out as a descent runner. This last weekend I went to San Jose for a quick in and out (Dave Matthews Band concert). As a kid I used to run every morning to stay in shape for soccer... not always by choice, but I did it.

Running defined me. Running was my escape. My body knows what to do, now it's time to Just Do It.